Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
