Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
