Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
