with your own penis?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
