Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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