She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
