I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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