I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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