Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
