I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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