I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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