And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
