Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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