You're completely useless in the revolution.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
