So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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