Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
