Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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