when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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