this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
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We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize