maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
