I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
