I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
