Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
