Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize