just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
