Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
