Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
