I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Randomize
