There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
