FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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