Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
