He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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