maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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