I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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