i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
