He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
