Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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