I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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