I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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