If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I deserve this hangover.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
