I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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