If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
