so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
accomplished twins. life is a go
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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