well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
