Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
