i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
