normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
