So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
