so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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