nut hugger
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
