Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
