I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
