i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
