Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
