Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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