I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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