I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
