you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
