Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you never un-have a 4some
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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