Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
