Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
