they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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