I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
