He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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