Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
